Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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