I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
