you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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