Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
