You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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