k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
