Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
