I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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