At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
