I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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