Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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