it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
