I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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