You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
