he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
