Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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