I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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