It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
