Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
