So drunk, too bad you don't want this
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
