the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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