Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
