k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
