I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
