he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
