i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
