The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
