In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
