Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
