Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
