Your mouth is God's brothel.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
