Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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