i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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