Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
