i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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