he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
