Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
