similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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