im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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