At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
