dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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