So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
