wakey wakey hands off snakey
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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