The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
