I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
