i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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