I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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