Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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