so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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