Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
