Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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